


Just Like Fire

by Nerd_of_Camelot



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, I Don't Even Know, My First Work in This Fandom, No Dialogue, Not Season/Series 02 Compliant, Not Season/Series 03 Compliant, Other, Protective Steve Harrington, Running Away, idk what this au is but i might do something more with it at a later date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:14:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22331713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerd_of_Camelot/pseuds/Nerd_of_Camelot
Summary: Steve Harrington doesn't consider himself an angry guy. He's a dick, sure―but he's not angry.But heisscared.He's protective and it burns like fire in his lungs.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Just Like Fire

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is.  
> I really, really don't.  
> I just know it grabbed me by the face and forced me to write it in two whirlwind sittings.

Anger comes so,  _ so _ easily.

Fear, sadness, pain―they twist and press together and fester and putrify and with all the horrible snap-back of a rubber band they become  _ anger. _ They become soul-deep  _ rage. _ And the anger twists and coils around his gut, presses in, makes his stomach roll and his heart pound. It drags every tiny thing up to fuel itself. Every microscopic little irritant since the last time the anger came.

Fear, sadness, pain―they’re painfully familiar. They’re so easy to twist into something that turns his blood and everything in his guts to sludge.

Anger comes so very easily.

And he hates it.

Steve Harrington doesn’t consider himself an angry guy. He’s a dick, sure―he’s only just learning how to be  _ nice _ to people. But he’s not  _ angry. _ He’s just lonely and tired of being ignored by the people who matter. Tired of being a dick, too.

He’s not an angry person.

… But he  _ is _ scared. He  _ is _ sad. He  _ is _ hurting.

He’s protective and it burns like fire in his lungs and that fuels the anger too, when it comes.

The first time he sees Dustin flinch away from someone (after they become friends, that is), he barely contains the urge to pop them. Barely keeps himself from starting a fight right then and there.

The way it burns in him scares him, and he clenches his fists until his knuckles turn white.

But it doesn’t stop there.

Of course it doesn’t.

He’s too protective―when Billy Hargrove shows up, looking for Max, tries to take her back home by force, the anger ignites again. And Billy might hit harder than he does, but Billy is clumsy. Steve doesn’t hold back and he doesn’t kick Billy’s ass, but he gets him good.

And when everything goes to shit and the power goes out all across town and it’s just him and the kids hunkering down in his house, he lasts a day and a half before the fear turns into anger. It boils in his stomach, turns his blood to disgusting sludge, and he’s not  _ about _ to sit around and let the Mind Flayer get his kids. The anger spurs him on, and he leaves the house once he’s sure they’ll be safe staying there.

He doesn’t have powers, he knows that. He’s not like Eleven.

Realistically, there is nothing he can do against the Mind Flayer on his own―but the town has gone to shit and soon the government will be here and he has no intention of still being here when that time comes. He’s not putting Eleven back in the grasp of the government. He wouldn’t be worried if he just knew where Hopper was, but he doesn’t, and that makes El his responsibility.

He’s not putting her in that kind of danger, and the fear he feels for her morphs into more anger.

It’s telling that the town is mostly empty.

Whether it tells him that the people of Hawkins are smarter than he thought or whether it tells him that they’re all dead, he’s not sure. He also doesn’t really care. His priority is the kids, and it’s bad enough he’s away from them right  _ now. _

He can’t waste time worrying about other people.

Joyce and Hopper and Nancy and Johnathan… He worries about them, but he doesn’t slow down or stop. He books it, head down, down the streets of Hawkins. On foot because he wants to make as little noise as possible. Mid-day because he wants a chance to flee without the Mind Flayer getting in his way.

He didn’t tell the kids when he left, but he has a plan. They’re not going to like it. He doesn’t doubt El already knows―she’s got a bad habit of snooping in other peoples’ heads. But if she knows, she isn’t protesting, and Steve doesn’t blame her.

She’s a  _ kid. _

And she’s tired.

He can tell she’s tired.

And that just makes him even angrier.

So it’s without regret that he slips into a store and snags a backpack off the rack. The lights are on, here, but they’re weak. Store probably has a generator, and it’s probably running low. He needs to get what he can now before the fridges shut off―he doesn’t have a list, by any means, but he knows they need food and he can’t cross bologna off the list yet.

He stuffs clothes and cans of food into the backpack until it almost won’t zip shut. He piles it by the front door and starts again. Piles the next one by the door, starts again. Four more times, he packs a bag. He makes sure there’s clothes and food for himself and the self-named Party.

He slips through the back of the store, leaving the backpacks at the front, and is able to track down the keys to a van parked out back. It’s a passenger van, with two rows of bench seating in the back and plenty of room behind the last row for him to throw the bags and whatever else he can grab. Awesome. He hadn’t been expecting this kind of luck―at most he expected to have to try and hotwire something. This is a good change of plans.

He makes a couple of trips to get the bags into the van, then spends a while trying to fill a cooler with ice and what food he thinks is still good from the fridges without attracting any attention. He hauls it to the back as well.

And it’s with just a little bit of regret that he breaks into the main office and snoops until he finds the combination to the safe.

He takes every cent he can find.

Life is still normal, mostly, outside of Hawkins. He’ll need money to get him and the kids any further than what he’s got right now.

He leaves a note, on the off-chance the owner of the store is alive and well.

_ Sorry, _ he writes,  _ I wish I didn’t have to do this, but I need to get the fuck out of dodge with my kids. I can’t promise I’ll ever pay you back but please know I’m only doing it to keep the kids alive. Thank you. _

He doesn’t sign it, just goes back about his business and he may or may not make off with the security tape as well. There’s only two cameras in the entire store and they’ll have caught enough of his visit to get him into trouble if they were ever looked at. He can’t have that.

He snags some cold drinks and some more sandwich stuff and tucks it all into a new backpack. He’ll have to visit a couple other stores―there’s an outdoorsy sort of shop nearby. He doesn’t savor the idea of camping with the kids during this but having the supplies is still a good idea. Just in case.

He packs the last of it into the van and starts it up, wincing when it roars to life and casting wary glances around. The fear bubbles up, then melts into more anger. God, everything just has to be  _ loud, _ doesn’t it? He clenches the steering wheel as tightly as he can and he trundles on toward the outdoors supply store.

It’s the same song and dance as with the grocery store, for the most part.

He grabs what he needs, takes off with the security tapes (there are two, here, and more cameras than he can count), leaves an apology note, and he pauses to count the money he’s amassed. Without counting the cash he has at home, and whatever his parents left before their last trip, he’s got enough to start what will have to pass as a house fund. His own money will go toward gas, mostly, he’s sure.

He knows he has a plan to get out of Hawkins with the kids. He knows some of them will have issues with it―but the thing is that he needs them safe more than he needs them happy with him. He’s not even sure that their families are  _ alive… _ Except the Byers. He knows them. They’re resilient.

They’ll be fine.

And when everything is done with here in Hawkins, he can bring the kids back.

A niggling voice in the back of his head says,  _ Yes, you can, but will you? _

He doesn’t know.

He’ll figure it out.

He heads home, and it’s not fun convincing the kids to get in the van so they can leave.

He doesn’t try very hard, though, and when they say no he kind of just lifts his hands in surrender and boy if that doesn’t get them all to agree on the spot…

He’s not willing to fight with them because he doesn’t want to take that boiling, sludgy anger out on them. They don’t deserve that.

And El reminds them the Mind Flayer comes out at night and they only have a couple of hours before the sun starts to set, and that kicks all of them into gear.

Steve sends her a grateful look before he starts looting the house for whatever else he can find. She nods in reply.

They go about their business.

And then they all pile into the van and it’s deadly quiet all night. First from fear. Then from the kids being asleep.

Steve drives the whole time.

Keeps his eyes on the road and doesn’t relax until he sees the sun peeking up over the horizon again, and sees another state sign roll past him. If he just keeps going, if he doesn’t get stuck in traffic or slow down too much, they’ll be in California by tonight. That’s faster than he expected. And he’s tired, but…

Not tired enough to stop.

He keeps going.

Noises of life start back up when the kids wake up. Complaints of hunger. Questions about where they’re going.

El quietly solves both issues when all Steve can summon as a reply is an exhausted breath. It gets kind of quiet again after that. None of the kids seem to want to overstep. They all seem kind of terrified.

He doesn’t blame them.

Finally, nearing noon, El quietly asks if they can turn the radio on. Steve replies by turning it on and making a vague motion he hopes conveys that they can pick the music. He doesn’t care. It doesn’t make a difference to him. All he has to do is drive, he doesn’t need to focus on music.

Roughly three hours later, there’s a meek request to stop for a bathroom break.

Steve pulls in at a rest stop and decides it won’t kill them to lose an hour or so. He doesn’t have a plan for where they’re going to be staying yet. This gives him time to figure it out. He can spend an hour or so thinking and they can stretch their legs and maybe he’ll be able to stay awake long enough to get them to California.

They have to get to California. He knows that for sure.

But that’s about as far as he got to plan before they left. It was short notice, you know?

He lets the kids run around and stretch and do their thing, and he plans.

El keeps throwing concerned looks at him, and he ignores them. She can be concerned all she wants. It won’t change anything.

The kids have a picnic, and they’re all sort of quiet while they eat. He realizes it’s because he still hasn’t spoken much, or mustered much of a response to anything they’re doing. They probably think he’s angry. He’ll tell them he wasn’t, later, but right now he doesn’t have the energy to waste on it. Cali is priority one.

Everything else comes after.

Eventually they all pile back into the van and he summons as much of his energy as he can spare to ask Max where  _ she _ thinks they should go in Cali. She used to live there. Maybe she knows a good area.

And she tells him which town she lived in without much hesitation. She does mention that Billy might be there―that he packed up and left a couple of weeks ago. Before the power went out. Just got fed up and left.

If that’s the worst thing they can find in the town, Steve thinks he can handle it.

He says as much, then lapses back into silence.

It’s already been night for a while when they roll into Max’s home town. Will has already fallen asleep, and Dustin, Lucas, and Mike aren’t faring much better. But Max and El are both on high alert, sitting up straight and with their shoulders rigid. El is no doubt searching for danger. Max is just worried.

Steve pulls into the parking lot of a shitty motel at the edge of town and manages to ask if they want one room or two.

There’s fear in all of their eyes when they agree, unanimously, that they want  _ one. _

He just nods, goes into the office, and sets up a room for the next couple of nights.

Then they all quietly unpack and move into the room and Steve has to carry Will, but he doesn’t mind.

Priority one is complete―they made it to Cali. Priority two is handled for now―they have somewhere to stay.

He lets himself relax a little, and once the kids are settled in he grabs his nailbat from the passenger seat of the van, locks up, and settles himself into the chair in the corner of the room. His stomach grumbles and he remembers he barely managed a sandwich when they stopped at the rest stop. He hasn’t eaten since yesterday aside from that.

They all discuss what to eat as Max organizes their perishables in the fridge and Steve is the one who asks her if there are any good pizza joints open and delivering at this time of night here.

She lists off a couple, but she shows a clear preference for one of them and Steve takes it in stride.

He’s willing to waste money for his kids.

He lets Max call in the order once everyone decides on what they want. And they feast on pizza and vending machine soda that Steve and El went to get before the pizza arrived. But eventually the exhaustion catches up with Steve and the kids get tired―especially Will, who was effectively only awake long enough to eat and finish a soda before he passed back out in a little ball―, and eventually Max, Lucas, and El are curled onto one bed and Will, Mike, and Dustin are on the other.

He doesn’t sleep until he’s sure they’re asleep, at which point he passes out in his chair, hilt of his nail bat in hand.

He wakes up to Max and Lucas quietly trying to decide if they should wake him up to ask for more soda money. By that time it’s only those two awake―El, mysteriously, has ended up on the floor next to his chair, her head resting against his knee.

He gently nudges her awake and jokes to the kids that if they buy much more soda the vending machine will run out. They laugh a little, and El stares at him for a while. Something in her seems to relax when he cocks his head at her and smiles a little.

Max eventually brings up that there’s a convenience store down the road from here―they could get a lot more soda and probably some healthy stuff to drink there for a lot less money. She and Steve end up piling into the van together and leaving El and Lucas to hold down the fort.

Both of them stop dead when they enter and see who else but fucking  _ Billy _ manning the counter.

He and Steve stare at each other for a good moment before both of them break eye contact to look at Max. Max looks like a deer in the headlights.

Before Steve considers anything else, he’s asking her if she wants to leave. If she doesn’t want to be here now.

She breathes out that there’s another store they can go to somewhere else and that’s the end of it. Steve meets Billy’s eyes again, lets Max leave on her own, and then backs out of the store to follow her.

Billy’s expression is unreadable.

Max valiantly keeps herself together in the van. She looks shaken, but not irreversibly scared. She’ll be okay given some time. Billy can’t even follow them if he’s on the clock.

They go to the other store and get some water and soda and more ice for their cooler that they can throw in the freezer for now.

When they get back, Max delivers herself straight into Lucas’ arms and neither of them talk about seeing Billy. But El clearly knows. She seems tense again.

Steve gives her a meaningful look.

She doesn’t relax, but she does nod.

And Steve is prepared, a few hours later, when he hears a car pull up to the hotel. He just… Knows that it was Billy. He just knows.

He throws a look at El, and she gives him a weary smile. Taps the side of her head, and he understands. He knows because she does. She told him, without telling him.

That’s probably going to come in handy.

He nods to her and tells the kids to wait for a minute. Stay in the room, don’t follow him.

He has Max lock the door behind him.

He meets Billy in the parking lot, and he’s sure that there’s going to be a fight. Billy looks furious. Steve braces himself.

But Billy just hisses at him, berates him for taking Max. Tells him that if Neil finds her he’ll  _ kill _ her and he’ll absolutely kill Steve to get to her. Steve tells him that that’s fine. If he dies protecting her, that’s fine.

But he also tells him he’s pretty sure that Neil won’t live long enough to come after them.

Billy’s dumbfounded face is… Satisfying.

It settles some of the anger down. Gets it to feel just the slightest bit less like sludge.

He gets Billy to sit down on the sidewalk with him, and with a sigh he explains the full story. And Billy… Billy listens. And, inexplicably… Billy  _ relaxes. _ There’s an understanding, a  _ relief _ in his eyes. But he doesn’t bring it up, and Steve doesn’t question it.

They end up talking about Steve’s plan.

Billy gives him the address of a cabin outside of the city that’s for sale and offers to throw some money into the fund to help. When Steve asks why he shrugs and says that even if he was a dick the whole time Steve knew him, he wasn’t a  _ monster. _ He wants Max safe just as much as Steve does. He was trying to protect her from Neil before. Now he has a chance to help make sure she’s out of the picture until they know Neil’s out of it? He’s going to take it.

Steve thanks him, genuinely, and Billy waves him off with the faintest hints of a blush.

And Billy leaves without demanding to see Max, or even asking.

And Steve knocks and Max lets him in and the fear in all of their eyes fades when they see he’s unhurt and, seemingly, undistressed.

They all resume what they were doing, but El and Max are still watching him. He quietly explains to them, and if Max’s eyes are shining a little from unshed tears he doesn’t say anything about it.

El asks if he wants to go look at the cabin tomorrow. Then reminds him they don’t have anywhere else to go, since he only paid two nights on the room.

He goes to pay another night, because even if they have enough to buy the cabin it’s not like the sale will be finalized in a couple of hours. They need to have somewhere to come back to.

When the kids fall asleep, he counts up his house fund again.

He leaves the kids in the hotel in the morning and goes to the address Billy gave him. He’s not surprised to see Billy is also there. He’s also not surprised to see a forty-something woman making general motions at the cabin and talking animatedly to Billy.

They both look at him when he arrives, and he knows he hasn’t changed his clothes in two days and his hair probably looks like crap, but he gives him a sheepish grin and sort of shuffles up to them. Billy acts like nothing is amiss, introduces him to the lady as his ‘best friend, Steve’, and throws an arm around his shoulders. And she relaxes, laughs, and asks him how his kids are.

He tells her the truth, mostly―that they’re a handful, but they’re happy with the move and excited to maybe have somewhere more permanent.

She shows them the cabin, and they talk about price, and Steve has about three quarters of the price of the place. When she leaves he and Billy alone, Billy asks about that exact issue. He seems surprised Steve has as much as he does, and has to turn away and try to turn his startled laugh into a cough when Steve explains that a lot of it was stolen.

There’s an off-handed comment about how he’ll do anything for those kids, and Steve doesn’t contest it.

Billy digs his wallet out and slaps the remainder of the price of the place into his hand. Steve doesn’t ask why he’s carrying that much around with him.

They talk to the woman again and they finagle the price down a little lower and voila. Steve now owns a cabin in Cali. The woman is fairly discreet and everything will be finalized by morning. Steve can hardly believe the luck.

He tries to give Billy back the leftover money, but Billy rolls his eyes and waves him off. Tells him to waste it on ‘utilities, or something’. Steve isn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He keeps the money.

He goes to get the kids and the key to the house is already in his back pocket.

The cabin is less of a cabin and more of a lodge―it has more than enough room for all of them to live comfortably for a good while and it’s just far enough out of town that Steve might be able to actually feel safe with them here. He’ll show them the house tonight and they’ll spend their last night in the hotel and everything will be… Great.

He picks them up. Takes them to see the house.

There are some minor squabbles over who gets which room, but mostly things are figured out swiftly. And once things are sorted he gets them back to the hotel room for the night and they all go back to bed.

Once the cabin stuff is finalized, he’s going to start looking for a job.

He’s the only one who can, at this point. The others still have time to go before they’re old enough to get a job across the country from where they started without there being questions about why they aren’t in school. Steve’s 19. He can get one now.

And in the morning, he meets the lady back at the cabin and the kids hide out in the back of the van. He finalizes things with her. The house is officially his and all he needs to do is get water and electric set up in his name and everything will be settled aside from the job.

As soon as she’s gone, the kids come falling out of the van and run inside. Only Lucas and Max stay behind to help him unload their stuff from the van again. El just lingers by the front door and makes sure they can get everything inside.

And they get settled.

And Steve thinks things might be okay.

He’ll work on a job tomorrow.

And as he watches the kids get settled and listens to Max and El start discussing decorations and furniture, the knot of fear and pain and sadness starts to work itself loose. The anger starts to fade. He feels… Okay. He feels like himself.

For the first time in  _ days _ he feels like himself.

And he knows the anger will come again. It always will. And it’ll burn and bubble and boil in his guts, and he’ll never get used to it.

But he’ll be prepared for it.

That’s the one thing he can say―he’ll be prepared for it.

Next time.

But for now he’s just going to enjoy knowing the kids are safe.


End file.
